Revised Introduction

For this blog post I will publish my old introduction paragraph from my project 2 draft along with a new and totally revised introduction paragraph.  I will then explain why I think the new introduction paragraph is more successful than the original.

Burton, Felix. "Neon, sign, "CHANGE"'. 1 September 2006 via Wikimedia Commons Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic 

The change in appearances of the my introduction paragraph is one for the better, in my opinion.  To start off, I provided brief information about the process of de-extinction to give readers knowledge about what they will read in the rest of my rhetorical analysis.  Instead of trying to write about the same reasons about why Cohen wrote his article, I briefly stated what the purpose of his article was and how it would be informative for readers.  I changed the thesis statement by only rearranging its format so that it would flow easier than before.

My Original Introduction Paragraph:

The concept of de-extinction is a recent idea that has been thought of in the age where scientific advancements have occurred. The author of text I have chosen to analyze is Shlomo Cohen. As a professor in the department of philosophy at Ben-Gurion University of the Negev, Cohen has taught different ethics courses during his time there. Along with being a professor in philosophy, he has published journals about ethical and philosophical topics. As he stated in his article, Cohen specifically says that the purpose of his article is to inform readers of the different viewpoints of the issue rather than report his own bias. Cohen goes on to describe the general meaning of what de-extinction is, “‘De-extinction’ refers to the process of resurrecting extinct species by genetic methods.” I will use information in this article to give new students who are majoring in the sciences an explanation of how this text is rhetorically constructed and situated. Cohen informs his readers about the ethics of de-extinction by appealing to the values and beliefs shared by the audience. Along with setting a tone and providing clear transitions between sets of texts, Cohen then analyzes the different effects that de-extinction would have on this world to give readers the ability to decide whether or not this process is ethical.

My New and Revised Introduction Paragraph:

The idea of bringing extinct species back to life seems like an idea that is far-fetched. This science-fiction like concept has recently gained attention in the science community. De-extinction is a process that brings extinct species back to life by using genetic engineering methods. Such methods include either cloning the DNA of the extinct species or selectively breed specific species in order to have the resembling species be as similar to the original species as possible. Advocates and critics disagree with one another over whether or not it is ethical. I have read through different sources regarding this issue, but I have chosen one text in particular. Shlomo Cohen, the author of text I have chosen, has an accomplished track record in his field of study. As a philosophy professor at Ben-Gurion University of the Negev, he has taught different ethics courses along with publishing journals regarding ethical and philosophical topics. The purpose of his article is to inform readers about the ethics of de-extinction by presenting the different viewpoints of the issue rather than report his own position. The text is rhetorically constructed and situated in a way to appeal to the values and beliefs shared by the readers. Along with providing clear transitions betweens sets of texts, Cohen uses an informative rather than a persuasive tone in his text to help readers decide whether or not the process of de-extinction is ethical.